Don't let me fade
by Dramione27
Summary: I died yesterday, at my own hand...And when you think of me, smile, it's the only way that I can see that you still care for me. Hermione's point of view. Songfic. DMHG.


I died yesterday, took my own life, I was never a coward, I didn't take the easy way out in life or in death but still somehow I became a ghost. I don't know how. I was extremely depressed before my suicide, I had loved someone and then he had broken my heart.

_Here I am, I'm right here  
Oh I wish you could feel me  
Standing so close  
I'm right beside you dear_

He had left me broken and torn up when he killed my best friend, I thought he had loved me but he loved evil more. I couldn't live knowing I had gotten Draco within killing shot of Harry. Now I haunt this place, the place he lives, the place he always had lived, Malfoy Manor. I watch him eat and sleep and grieve for me.

_I fly around this old man house  
I float through our walls  
I scream and I call  
While I watch you without me_

He seems so unhappy, unable to move on until I came back and forgave him, I wish he could see me here, I had tried, but he couldn't. I tried to make him notice me by moving photographs and furniture and objects but it only convinced him he was losing his mind.

_All I feel, all I am now  
Is this love I have for you,  
Each night it's you  
You I lay beside_

I try to make him feel me but all he does is shiver and turn up the heater. He's cried himself to sleep more than once, I know I was right there crying with him, crying for him, crying in frustration. He talked in his sleep, he told me his story, told me how he had gone there that night to seek my forgiveness only to find my dead body, how he wished he could take one hour of his life back, how he wished I had waited five more minutes before killing myself, then he could have saved me.

_Close my eyes, never to sleep  
I tell you all the things I should have said  
But you'll never know  
How could I act such a part  
As to love the one who breaks my heart  
I had to go…_

He couldn't feel me or see me or hear me and I was powerless. He ate, he slept, he drank, oh how he drank. He drank more than I ever saw him drink, more than he had when his father had killed his mother. He felt only sadness and the anguish I saw in him brokemy heart almost every day.

_So put your hands here round my waist  
Though you cannot feel my touch dear  
And dance with me as you did before_

_I'm bound forever to this house  
I can never go beyond that door  
I dance alone_

I'm stuck in limbo I can't move from this house, from his bed when he sleeps from sitting on the kitchen bench when he eats from sitting on the edge of the tub trying endlessly to soothe him as he vomits into the ceramic bowl. From trying to make him see me, to love me I have learnt everything I could have ever wanted to know about him.

_So when you think of me, smile  
It's the only way that I can see  
That you still care for me_

I love him and I've been dead for quite a while, I knew he'd eventually move on but being stuck here watching while he did was like torture. His new flame was Nicole, a quaint muggle girl, Draco had wanted to get as far away from magic as possible and he happened to find her. I didn't hate her and I wanted him to be happy but I couldn't help the occasional prank. This was a mistake, as soon as Draco heard the first mention of ghosts he made plans to leave.

_Close my eyes, never to sleep  
I tell you all the things I should have said  
But you'll never know  
How could I act such a part  
As to love the one who breaks my heart  
I had to go…_

He will marry her soon and every night I find myself screaming at him, pleading;

_Here I am, I'm right here  
How I wish you could see me dear  
Oh my dear…_

She heard me screaming, she conveyed her worry but arrogant Draco Malfoy ignored his young wife's concern (after all if there was really a ghost surely he, a wizard, would have been first to notice). I talked to Nicole, confided in her, but then they were gone, they left the Malfoy Mansion because it seemed that he finally realised I was here. There was no way Nicole could have known those intimate things, the fact that I was here the whole time and didn't say anything hurt him so he left without saying goodbye, without letting Nicole say goodbye. He simply left all his memories and me in the dust and I felt myself fading.

* * *

A/N: Draco couldn't see Hermione because those close to the dead cannot see their ghosts, that would be like a second chance at life and wouldn't be fair. Song is Beloved by Wendy Matthews. I hope you like. 


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